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HOW TO MANAGE YOUR BOSS

1/1/2020

Obviously, those of us who have bosses, don’t actually “manage” them; in reality, we “manage” our relationship with our boss. More accurately, we manage ourselves as we interact with our boss and the teams they supervise. Those who are bosses understand there are some very practical things one can do to build a healthy relationships with their supervisors and make themselves into people of value. Even more, there are things we can do to diminish our value in the eyes of our bosses and make ourselves "low hanging fruit" with limited opportunities for growth and promotion.

1. UNDERSTAND YOUR BOSS’S PERSPECTIVE. It’s important to understand the pressures, challenges and demands on your boss before you make judgments or criticisms. Sometimes bosses have bad days and are stress. Try to step out of your own bubble and put yourself in the boss’s shoes. Doing this will build your empathy and enable you to be more supportive.

2. DISCOVER WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOUR BOSS. What are his performance goals? What does he value? The more you align yourself with the boss’s values and support him in achieving his objectives, the more empowered your relationship will be.

3. ACKNOWLEDGE WHEN YOUR BOSS HELPS YOU. Voice your appreciation when he advises you. Thank him when he takes care of an issue for you or personally assists you in some way. We all love appreciation; so, a text, email or quick “thank you” in the hallway will boost his confidence and make you valuable to him. Even better, mention to other coworkers or in a staff meeting how grateful you are for his support.

4. EXPRESS CONCERNS IN A POSITIVE WAY. Learn how to present problems or voice your complaints in a positive, solution-oriented way. Turn your criticisms into suggestions and offer to help in implementing any changes you’re suggesting. Remember that bosses despise complainers but love problem solvers. Don't go to your manager with a list of complaints. Convert your complaints into practical suggestions or solutions whenever you can.

5. SPEAK UP IF YOUR BOSS IS MISTAKEN ABOUT YOUR PERFORMANCE. Do not allow him to remain confused or misinformed about your role, your results or any other aspect of your work. Clearing up miscommunication with your boss is extremely important and will build mutual respect in the relationship.

6. WHEN YOUR BOSS IS CRITICAL, DON’T MAKE IT PERSONAL. We tend to internalize things and judge our worth based upon how we perceive others think of us. Your boss is not there to coddle you or give you a reward just because you showed up. He’s there to manage you, to correct you, to tell you what to do and how to improve. There will be difficult conversations, get over it, check your attitude get to work.

7. CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE. Don't start a conversation with your boss when you're mad, disappointed or upset. Wait until you calm down. If you need to cry, do it in private. If you’re angry, get it out of your system alone. Never vent emotion on your boss—it only makes you look weak and unstable. Always remain professional, calm and in control.

8. AVOID COMPARING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BOSS TO HIS RELATIONSHIPS WITH COWORKERS. It’s a trap of condemnation and self-criticism we fall into. Don’t count the number of times your boss said "yes" to one of your requests versus the times he said "No" to you. Don’t tally how often he takes their advice over yours. It is easy to compare yourself to other employees or start to think "My boss doesn't like me." That's a waste of your energy that makes you resent your boss and turns toxic. Focus on your work, your team's work and how to improve.

9. NEVER BE PETTY. Don't ask your boss to solve arguments with co-workers unless you and your co-worker agree there is no alternative. Don't ask your boss to solve problems you should be solving on your own.

10. BE AN OPTIMISTIC TEAM PLAYER. Be helpful to other team members. Volunteer to offer support and assistance when possible. Bosses are relieved when they know the team is united and mutually supportive. If you bring a positive, can-do attitude that boosts optimism on the team, your boss will regard you as a high-value member of his organization.

11. ASK FOR FEEDBACK. Seek advice from your boss if you’re challenged by a situation or difficult decision. It shows the boss you respect him and value his experience and knowledge.

12. KEEP YOUR BOSS IN THE LOOP ON IMPORTANT NEWS. If you meet with important people or discover important developments have occurred that would be valuable information to your boss, pass it on. Don’t assume they know it, bring it to their attention. However, be careful not to bring petty nonsense to him, just to sound important.

13. DON’T BE A TATTLER. Avoid being a talebearer of other employee’s poor performance. There may be times when you should inform your boss when issues arise to damage the team but bringing petty criticisms about a coworker only makes you look like a petty complainer to be avoided.

14. BE A PERSON HE CAN TRUST. Some complain that their boss doesn’t give them opportunities or doesn’t allow them to have more responsibilities. But maybe the problem isn’t the boss, maybe it’s you. If you complain about work conditions, spread gossip about coworkers or criticize the boss, you have undermined your own credibility and diminished your value. If you want to be given more responsibility, then you must demonstrate to your boss that you are trustworthy. Don't be a complainer, don’t gossip about your manager to other employees, or allow them to do it to you, it always gets back to him. Do what he asks you and don’t complain about it. Don’t do it halfway or treat it like it is not important. Make what is important to your boss, important to you and build trust in the relationship.

15. ONLY ASK FOR A RAISE IF YOU DESERVE IT. Too many people ask for a raise when they are only preforming at the level they’re already being paid for. If you want a raise, produce at a higher level than you are currently being paid. Do more than what is expected. Work harder than is acceptable. Perform at the level to which you want to be promoted and see how opportunity is attracted to you.

TEN HARD TRUTHS FOR LEADERS

10/1/2019

In a recent conversation with some colleagues in leadership, I asked the question, “What do you find to be the most difficult realities for you as a leader?” The responses were very candid and hard-hitting which reveal that being a leader is not always as “glamorous” as it seems. Based on these conversations, I have listed ten hard truths that those who aspire to leadership should be prepared to encounter.

1. As a leader, you’ll often be required to do things you think are “beneath” you.
Some leaders feel their status or skills sets should preclude them from doing some of the more menial and mundane tasks within the team. This is a dangerous place for leaders. Try to avoid any sense of entitlement that allows you to think you’re more important than others. In fact, leaders who are willing to do those “menial” tasks often earn greater respect and devotion for their subordinates who value humility and work ethic from their leaders.

2. As a leader, responsibility always defaults to you.
This means two things. First, it means you will be held responsible for actions that may have nothing to do with your leadership. When a subordinate makes a poor decision or fails to preform, you will take the blame of their poor performance. Arnold H. Glasow wrote, “A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.” Second, it means that regardless of how you delegate, the success or failure of the project will always be up to you. If people don’t do their job, it falls to the leader to step up, take control, and make sure the job gets done. Delegation never removes responsibility from the leader. Always remember, "the buck stops with you."

3. As a leader, you don’t have the luxury of having a bad day.
As a leader, attitude is everything. Attitudes are contagious and bad attitudes are more contagious than good ones. It’s impossible to catch “healthiness” from someone, but it’s easy to catch his or her sickness. Leaders, more than anyone, infect others with their moods, emotions and perspectives. So, if you lead, don’t come to work moody because your kid is rebellious, or your marriage is unhappy. Leave that stuff outside. This is what leadership is and if you can’t separate your personal issues from your professional performance, you probably shouldn’t lead.

4. As a leader, some will think you are under qualified and unworthy to lead.
There will always be those who think you shouldn’t be the leader. You may be their supervisor, but they think they should be supervising you. Or they may have another person they believe is more capable than you. But in truth, they’ll never know the hours you’ve worked, the time you spent developing your skills, and your many prior accomplishments that have distinguished you for this position. Be confident in who you know yourself to be and refuse to allow other’s opinions to diminish your authority. Be the leader. Lead on!

5. As a leader, you will sometimes feel alone.
Leaders carry a burden of responsibility that few others can understand. Leaders realize how far reaching the consequences of their actions, decisions, or even failures can be and often feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders. Sleepless nights, anxiety and stress, even physical ailments can be the result. Often, in these moments of vulnerability, it is vital that you be intentional about connecting with significant others who are trustworthy peers to whom you can reach out.

6. As a leader, you will face criticism and come under attack.
Unfortunately, leaders know that criticism is more common than encouragement. This is especially true with unhappy, insecure and angry people who never have anything good to say. They feel better about themselves only when they are pointing out flaws in others. As a leader, realize this comes with the territory. You should expect complaints, criticism, and even condemnation, but be careful not internalize this negativity or base your value upon them. Most of the time, it’s just people who resent your success and who are trying to increase their own self-worth by diminishing yours.

7. As a leader, you care deeply for the people you lead, but most of them will never know.
Good leaders realize how valuable and indispensable their team members are. Leaders wish they could pay them more, offer better benefits or simply provide conditions that would guarantee their success. This is the tension leaders feel when having limited resources prevents them from meeting the needs and wants of their good people. And most of those good people will never know how truly concerned you are about them. Remember, the empathy you feel is a valuable commodity in leadership. Talk to those you care about, express your awareness of their struggles, and offer to help in any way you can. They may never know how much you care, but they can certainly know that you are not aloof and out of touch with their needs.

8. If you are a married leader, you cannot leave your spouse behind.
Remember that your spouse is part of your team. Even though he or she may not show up at your office or in the field, your spouse sill shares in your struggles, successes, frustrations, and failures. So, go ahead and talk through some of these challenges with your husband or wife. Remember, no one will support you, pray for you, and guard your back like your spouse. He or she is the crucial partner God has given you to empower you in your leadership journey.

9. As a leader, very often, you will not receive credit for things you taught people, programs you initiated and successes you achieved.
Quite often, someone will comment how a special speaker or presentation made a dramatic impact on his or her life and transformed their entire outlook, only to leave you thinking, “I’ve been telling you the same thing for years. How can you say this is the first time you’ve heard it?” Other times, achievements or projects will be successful and the subordinates around us will be affirmed for their part without any acknowledgement of the leader’s initiative or supervision. It’s the nature of leadership. Many times, the lectures we give, the standards we set, often fade into the background without being specifically noticed. That does not mean our influence is insignificant. Quite the reverse, your influence is crucial and shaping the culture dramatically. But like sunshine on a warm day, it's simply taken for granted and not appreciated for its real significance.

10. As a leader, the appreciation you fail to give today will become the resentment you’ll confront tomorrow.
This is one truth leaders cannot afford to miss. If you don’t show appreciation to your workers, you will regret it. People who do not feel valued or respected for their work will eventually give way to complaining, resentment and bitterness. They will become discouraged, demoralized and infect others with their offense. Take the time to appreciate and thank those who serve faithfully. Your encouragement will be to them like verbal sunshine. It energizes, comforts and inspires those who receive it, especially when it comes from their leader.

Bonus: If you are a leader, there is no greater privilege than to serve the Lord and His people knowing that Christ is glorified, people are edified, and you have faithfully fulfilled your calling. Sure, leadership has some hard truths. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. To lead is a high calling, a great responsibility. And there is no greater joy than to know your initiative and influence has made an impact in the Kingdom of God, the lives of His people, and culture we are called to reach! If you're a leader, LEAD ON!

NO EASY BREAKTHROUGH IN 2019

1/1/2019

It happens every "New Year." January brings its onslaught of so-called "prophets" who promise breakthrough, prosperity and promotion in the new year without any call for changes in attitude, behavior or lifestyle. It sounds wonderful. It's exhilarating to receive such a "word from God." Unfortunately, it's a scam. Breakthrough doesn’t come because of a date on the calendar, it comes thru obedience, discipline and consistency in character. If greater things are to come in 2019, we not only need faith in a good Father who blesses His children, we also need to take practical steps, make real changes and ask serious questions about the year we just completed.

1. What was your greatest accomplishment of 2018?
When you think back over all you did with your family, on the job or in ministry, what memory brings the most satisfaction? Whose life has been made better by your influence? How has the kingdom of God been advanced? Hopefully, 2018 was year that added to your list of achievements that will stand in eternity. If you have a hard time identifying any such accomplishments, maybe it's because you have none. Perhaps it's time to set some realistic goals and align your priorities accordingly.

2. What do you regret most from 2018?
If you could have one “do-over” in the past year, what would it be? Perhaps there was a relationship that was damaged or someone who was hurt by something you did. Maybe you had an assignment at work, or a ministry goal that wasn’t achieved. Perhaps there were some personal goals or year-end resolutions that fell by the wayside. As 2019 is now upon us, it may be helpful to recount some of these regrets and identify what could be done differently in the year to come to ensure greater success.

3. What major life lesson did you learn from 2018?
Failure is a great teacher, if we are willing to learn from it. Even if 2018 was full of disappointments, it can provide us with great lessons on what to do differently or how to plan for 2019. On the contrary, be careful that victory doesn’t lead to defeat because it settled us into complacency. Be intentional. Make certain that the successes of last year, as well as its failures, are rungs on the ladder of life elevating us toward the prize of the high calling in Christ Jesus.

Set Realistic Goals that Bring Realist Results
There can be no improvements in 2019 without changing what was lacking in 2018. The following are a few suggestions that are crucial to experiencing breakthrough, promotion and prosperity in the months to come:

1. Have daily devotions. Provide for time in prayer and God’s Word. If you'll learn how to get into God's presence, you will find strength and grace to move mountains, defeat giants and overcome every stronghold the enemy has put upon you!

2. Self-educate. Read books that teach you new things and deepen your thinking. Carve out a time in your daily or weekly schedule when you curl up with a good book. There is a wealth of knowledge available to you, if you can learn this discipline.

3. Stay healthy. Forget diets and weight loss gimmicks, it's time for a lifestyle change. Clean out your pantry and refrigerator. Eat good food and exercise daily, you'll feel better, think more clearly and have more energy.

4. Work hard. Be diligent and increase your competence. Go to conferences, take a college course, find a mentor, write a book, start a blog. Learn to be a problem solver, a creative resource and critical thinker on your team. The greatest investment you can make is in your own competence. No amount of pastoral prayer or prophetic anointing can make up for a lazy mind.

5. Develop good habits. Over 70% of New Year's Resolutions are broken by January 17. True, lasting change requires lifestyle changes. There's no such thing as an instant breakthrough or promotion through a prophecy. Promotion is provoked by diligence, excellence, competence and obedience to God.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT - Common Sense Advice for Men

11/22/2017

There seems to be no end to the amount of women coming forward with tragic accounts of sexual harassment and assault from bosses and coworkers. It reveals just how pervasive this issue is in our culture. Here's a few common sense points for us men to keep in mind as we seek to promote a workplace free of sexual harassment and abuse. (Feel free to add more in the comments.)

1. Be an example. If you're a leader, you must take the lead in creating a culture that honors, respects and values the opposite sex. Vulgar talk and inappropriate conduct should never be a part of your character.

2. Promote policies that ensure a healthy work environment. Talk about sexual harassment, offer training and identity inappropriate behaviors. Empower victims with a safe pathway to register complaints.

3. Correct harassers. Don't be a silent accomplice. If you witness sexual harassment, or hear derogatory comments about women, speak up immediately and tell the harasser you find his behavior offensive and inappropriate.

4. Confront "locker room talk," even when a female colleague isn't present. Men of integrity will not tolerate conversations that demean or objectify women, especially their colleagues. Give your integrity a voice!

5. Support the individual being harassed. Be an ally for women who have experienced sexual harassment. Don't protect the harasser, and minimize the incident. Affirm the victim and empower their response.

6. Be professional. You're there to work, not to flirt or fool around, and neither are your opposite sex coworkers. Regard one another as competent professionals who strive for excellence and respect in the workplace.

7. Treat all women as though your wife is standing next to her. Pass all your remarks, gestures and actions through the imagined filter of "How would my wife feel about this if she were in this room?"

8. Always keep the door open. Try to avoid being alone with the opposite sex. But when that's not possible, always meet where doors can be left open as a protection to both of you.

9. Avoid unnecessary physical contact. There may be times when greeting an old acquaintance or giving a congratulatory hug is appropriate; otherwise, avoid putting your hands on the ladies. When contact is warranted, always be cautious, discreet and delicate (and refer to #7).

10. Stop blaming the women. Just because a female coworker is attractive or friendly (or is a subordinate), does not mean she's "interested in you," nor does it give you the right to touch, grope or make sexual advances toward her. Get a grip man! Grow up and control yourself!

Sutherland Springs - The New Normal

11/15/2017

Photo Credit: Nick Wagner/AP

There will come tragedies, crashing in upon our lives, reminding us we live in a broken world full of broken people who do horrible, unspeakable things. Sutherland Springs is that kind of tragedy. It brings a painful reminder that in this world, there is no sanctuary from evil. Even while we worship and pray, hatred and violence and the worst kind of evil can find its way to us. This is life in a broken world.

It’s also a reminder that with praying and worship must come vigilance. Jesus did not tell us only to pray, He told us to “watch and pray,” signaling the reality that evil is near and we must be ready. While we grieve the tragedies of Sutherland and mourn with those who are suffering, we must also learn from it. There is a “New Normal” facing the church today, and here’s what I’m learning.

If it happened in Sutherland Springs, it can happen in my church. Fox News reported Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton gave a dire warning in the wake of Sutherland’s tragedy. "This is going to happen again," he predicted.2 Unpreparedness is no longer an option for churches. For too long, we’ve comforted ourselves with the notion, “If you’re blessed, you won’t be harmed.” But the reality is Saul threw spears at David, Daniel was thrown to the lions, Paul was beaten half to death and Jesus was nailed to a cross. Bad things happen to good people—to God’s people. Church leaders must realize the dangers facing churches today are real, and the worshipers in our sanctuaries may become targets.

If it can happen in my church, I must take measures to prevent it. Every church must have sound, reliable security measures. Whether it’s a volunteer team of competent individuals led by a trained and qualified professional, or hiring an armed security guard, every church needs to be seriously prepared for the worst-case scenario. It should be part of the 21st century church culture. Just like having ushers, greeters and a ministry of those who pray, every church needs to have a ministry of those who “watch.”

If I’m going to prevent it, I’m going to need help. Implementing a security ministry is not something that should be thrown together haphazardly. Although their intentions may be good, most lay people in the local church are not properly trained to develop and supervise a security ministry. In fact, their over-zealousness may present more problems than solutions. Consult with local law enforcement. Hire a security consultant. Perhaps there are retired police personnel in your congregation who could be utilized.

There is a new normal in the church and leaders must adapt. Of course, we believe that God protects us from evil, but we also realize that God will not do by miracle what we must do by common sense. If we know that danger is approaching, we have a duty to prepare and prevent it. The point is this: do something. Inaction is irresponsible and leaders who fail to prepare, fail to lead.

(If you need help in assessing or developing your church’s security ministry, I highly recommend www.prosecuritysolutions.biz. Their chief consultants will provide you with excellent guidance as you adapt your church to the new normal.)

SURVIVING THE GLORY

8/2/2017

If you aspire to the next level, humility is your greatest asset. This is true for two reasons. First, nothing draws the blessing of God into your life like humility. James 4:6 tells us, “He gives more grace. Therefore, He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” If you need more grace from God in your life, walk in humility. It’s humility that draws God’s favor and blessing upon us. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” Nothing will take you to the next level like humility.

The second reason why humility is essential is this: The more successful you become, the harder it is to remain humble. It’s true: As your influence grows—as God sees your humility and “lifts you up,” as you become established, experienced, successful, and respected—the harder it is to stay humble. This is the subtle danger that resides within going to the next level—it’s the tendency to think that because I have been promoted, because I have succeeded, I am more important than those who are “under me.”

A classic example of this is found in an Old Testament king name Uzziah.

Uzziah became king at 16 years old. Because he did “what was right in the sight of the Lord,” God caused him to prosper. He became exceedingly strong and defeated all his enemies. He conducted great building projects and developed the nation’s infrastructure. He raised an army of three hundred thousand warriors and designed technologically advanced weapons. It was all because of God’s blessing and his fame spread far and wide.

Unfortunately, as he became successful and famous—as he went to the next level—something happened. 2 Chronicles 26:16 says, “But when he was strong his heart was lifted up, to his destruction, for he transgressed against the LORD his God by entering the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense.”

When Uzziah went to the next level, his heart changed. He succumbed to a sense of self-importance and pride. He believed himself superior to those around him—even the priests. He reasoned: “I am king. God has favored me above all other men. Thousands of souls bow before me. Why must I defer to some cleric to offer incense for me? I can burn my own incense—I have a ‘special’ relationship with God and need not submit to a lowly priest.”

With this attitude, Uzziah entered the sanctuary and offered incense to God—a blatant violation of mosaic protocol. Immediately, the high priest along with eighty others confronted the king and said, “It is not for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord, but for the priests, the sons of Aaron, who are consecrated to burn incense. Get out of the sanctuary, for you have trespassed! You shall have no honor from the Lord God” (2 Chronicles 26:18). As a result, God judged Uzziah by striking him with leprosy—a sign of God’s rejection and public humiliation. King Uzziah was unable to resist the pride that came with his promotion and it ruined him.

Pride is a feeling of exaggerated importance; it’s the belief that “I am more important than those around me.” Pride is an attitude of self-exaltation that God hates. James 4:6 warns us, “God resists the proud.”

When Uzziah went to the “next level,” it ruined him. In the beginning, he was a humble man. He sought God and submitted to others. But after he was crowned with authority and achieved success, he started to change. The power he had over others, the control he had over the kingdom, inflated his ego with a perverted sense of importance. This is the danger that is insidious to the success. It’s the tendency to think our success makes us more valuable and more important than the people around us. If left unchallenged, this pride can evolve into an attitude of presumption.

Presumption is the assumption that “because I am so important, I should be regarded with a certain level of esteem.” In other words, because one has achieved a certain level of success, he expects to receive a certain level of respect.

Uzziah assumed that because he was king and had achieved so much for the kingdom, people would naturally defer to him. He believed that his authority gave him a certain advantage—a special seat that should be automatically respected by everyone around him.

This was the exact attitude that James and John had in Mark 10. They said to Jesus, “Grant us that we may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on Your left, in Your glory.” To them, going to the next level was about gaining an advantage for themselves. It was about respect and admiration and being held in high esteem by others. An attitude that Jesus quickly dispelled.

Jesus said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you…whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant and whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all.”

Jesus confronted this presumption. He made it clear to James and John that any advancement we receive, any success we enjoy, is not for our benefit. It’s for the benefit of those around us. If we go to the next level, it’s not to enlarge ourselves but to use our position to enlarge others and advance the cause of God.

Unfortunately, if this presumption is not put in check, it will escalate into a sense of entitlement. Entitlement is a belief that “because of my value, I am ‘entitled’ to certain privileges and special treatment.” It’s when people who have achieved certain levels expect to receive certain “perks,” benefits or special treatment.

According to Mosaic law, no one burned incense on an altar, except the priests. But Uzziah believed that, because he was king, and such a great man with such importance, that he was entitled to special rights and privileges. It’s a sense of entitlement. There is nothing wrong with receiving honor for your success, or if you’re a leader, but never let it become an entitlement. Never allow yourself to believe that because you’re the leader, or because of your special accomplishments or special giftings, that you deserve special privileges or special treatment. We are cautioned “not to think of (ourselves) more highly than (we) ought to think,” “giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10).

If we go to the next level, there will be perks (benefits). Be we must manage those perks with humility. The perks are a blessing, not an entitlement. Don’t let it go to your head. Don’t allow your ego to inflate, lest you pick a fight with God. In fact, sometimes your humility will be tested. In fact, sometimes you will not be honored because God is provoking you—He is pulling on your pride to see what is really in your heart. He wants to know, “Do you really want to be a big shot? Are you trying to become some revered personality or respected authority?” If so, your character is fractured and is unable to support your promotion.

If this sense of entitlement is not defeated, it will putrefy into a feeling of exaltation. Exaltation is the condition of elevating, promoting and glorifying one’s self. It’s the tendency to overestimate one’s significance, overstep one’s boundaries and exceed the limits of one’s authority.

Uzziah thought that because he was the great leader—the successful achiever—because he was so smart, so talented and so accomplished, no one could tell him what to do, or what not to do. He went into the sanctuary and offered incense when Mosaic law made it very clear, only the priest was to offer incense. But Uzziah likely imagined, “Who does this lowly priest think he is? I’m the king! I’m smarter, I’m older, I’m more experienced and I don’t need him telling me what to do.”

It’s an act of self-exaltation. It’s a demonstration of arrogance. He became haughty and conceited. He had a sense of superiority about himself that was demonstrated in his behavior and attitude. Uzziah was unable to be corrected. He was unteachable, unaccountable, and could not submit. Sadly, leaders start to fall when they can no longer be led, taught, corrected, or criticized.

Uzziah shows us the tragedy of lacking a firm foundation when going to the next level. We fall to pride. It will all be waiting for you at that place of promotion: pride, presumption, entitlement, and exaltation. These are part of the strategy used by those “higher devils at higher levels.” God is looking for humility. However, He’s not interested in shallow expressions—He’s looking for the real thing.

What is “true humility?” We’ll look at that in the next blog.

For more information on surviving your enlargement, check out my latest book, UPWARD: Taking Your Life to the Next Level now available on Amazon.

The Solomon Question

5/22/2017

In 1 Kings 3, the story is told of a young man named Solomon. His father, King David, had just relinquished the crown and announced to the world his selection for a successor: Solomon was about to go to the next level.

On the verge of his promotion, God visited Solomon in a dream and asked him a question. Essentially, God said, “Solomon, as you become king over my people, ask what you want from me, and I will give it to you.” His response is an extremely important lesson for all who aspire to the next level.
Solomon did not ask for greatness. He did not seek success, prosperity, power, or wealth. Instead, Solomon asked God to change something about himself. He said, “Give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?”

Solomon knew there was something lacking in himself. Moreover, he knew that if he were to receive all the wealth and power that came with being king—because of his lack of wisdom—he would ruin it. Even worse, all that wealth and power would ruin him.

If God were to ask you the “Solomon Question,” what would your response be? To find the true answer, simply look at what you’re already praying for. Many emerging leaders are praying for a greater anointing, a bigger church, more people, more finances, greater resources, etc., etc. Some believe they should be successful business owners, so they are seeking financial enlargement. Others believe they are called to preach to thousands, so they are praying for an international ministry. Still others believe they should have broader influence, wider connections, or a larger network, so they are seeking opportunities to bring it to pass.

But what we need to realize, like Solomon, is that if God does not do something “in us” first, then we will ruin and destroy that thing God gives to us. Even worse, that enlargement and success could destroy and ruin us—as it has ruined so many before us.

Fuller Theological Seminary Professor J. Robert Clinton researched the lives of biblical leaders over the scope of their careers. Of more than three hundred leaders in the Bible, approximately one hundred had sufficient information available to study their careers. This included Old Testament patriarchs, priests, and military leaders as various New Testament leaders. He concluded that only 30 percent of these leaders in the Bible finished well. In other words, 70 percent did not. That means only 1 out of 3 biblical leaders finished well and remained strong and productive for the Lord to the end.

The point is this: Many leaders arrive at the next level unprepared. Sure, they may have powerful gifts, a great education, and impressive credentials, but they often lack a foundation of character to support them through the struggles. And the struggles will come. Higher levels bring higher devils. The good news is you don’t have to be numbered among the 70 to 80 percent who don’t finish well. You can be a part of the 20 to 30 percent who overcome.

Solomon shows us the key. When offered the opportunity to receive from God anything he desired, he realized what he needed most was to be prepared—internally. His concern was for his character. His priority was for his inward capacity. His foundation of wisdom, integrity, humility and purity had to be enlarged in order to support the external enlargement before him. As a result, God considered him qualified for the next level and, first, enlarged his character, and then his scope of influence beyond anything he could imagine.

As we aspire to the next level, our focus should not be on the outward benefits we may receive, but the inward matters of the heart. What is the condition of our integrity? How prevalent is our humility? Do we demonstrate servanthood and selflessness? Do we act out of pure motives, seeking only the glory of God, or do we hope to achieve something for our own ego? These are the issues that must precede our promotion and be firmly fixed in our character.

For those going upward, to the next level, I want to suggest a new way of praying. Instead of seeking success, resources, more people, and more money, we should pray like Solomon. Ask God to enlarge your foundation of character first, to support the weight and pressure being added by the next level awaiting you. In fact, I challenge you to ask Him to stop your enlargement, to prevent you from being promoted if your character is not deep enough to support that promotion.

“Heavenly Father, I thank you for the call You have placed on my life and the enlargement I have experienced so far. However, I acknowledge that there are fractures in my character that threaten to destroy my life and all You have built. I ask you now, in the Name of Jesus, to repair these fractures before taking me to the next level.

“Until these fault lines in my character have been restored, do not allow me to be promoted to the next level. Stop my promotion if my character has not been prepared to bare the pressures that come with that promotion. Enlarge my character first, and prepare me to be that house founded on the Rock, ready support the enlargement you have willed my life.”

For more information on surviving your enlargement, check out my latest book, UPWARD: Taking Your Life to the Next Level now available on Amazon.

THE WISDOM OF ABIGAIL: A MODEL FOR GOOD PEOPLE SKILLS People Skill #7: The Power to Persuade

5/15/2017

Have you ever needed to persuade someone to do something? Whether it’s getting a colleague to join your team or convincing a toddler to pick up his toys, persuasion is something we all use every day. The difference in our effectiveness goes back to people skills. Some people can persuade rather effortlessly without anyone hardly noticing. Others, however, are persuasion weaklings and ultimately must fall back on the power of the position to force someone to do what they want.

An old fable tells the tale of how the wind and the sun decided they had a competition. They wanted to determine, once and for all, who was stronger. For the contest, they agreed that the winner would be the one who could persuade a man to take off his coat. The wind blew and blew, but the man only held on more tightly to his coat. Then the sun brightened its glare and shone gently down upon him. Within minutes, the man—gladly and with great enthusiasm—took off his coat.

The moral of the story is clear: You cannot force someone to do something they don’t want to do. In fact, the more you force, the more they hold onto their coat. Instead, the power of persuasion influences them to “want to do” what you want them to do—the way you want them to do it.

This is the essence of persuasion: It’s getting others to buy into an idea, and be motivated internally to do it. Remember the sun. Persuasion is exerting such healthy, positive influence that individuals are intrinsically motivated toward a certain course of action.

Abigail was powerfully persuasive. She made a suggestion and then influenced David—who was enraged by a sense of vengeance—to relent from his path. David was being driven by a passion. He and his men were armed and dangerous. But one woman, through the power of persuasion, was able to stop an entire army and keep the peace.

If Abigail can do it, so can you, but it requires good people skills.

For more information on great people skills, check out my latest book, UPWARD: Taking Your Life to the Next Level now available on Amazon.

THE WISDOM OF ABIGAIL: A MODEL FOR GOOD PEOPLE SKILLS People Skill #6: The Capacity to Reconcile

5/8/2017

The world is full of Nabals. Even if you’re a David—a man after God’s own heart, anointed as royalty—you will encounter certain antisocial personalities who stir up contention, tear others down, and bring out the worst in people. If you lack the capacity that Abigail had to work through these issues and bring reconciliation, you will remain among the contaminated, made bitter by offense and disqualified for the next level. On the contrary, Abigail’s ability to navigate offense and mediate reconciliation was a crowning achievement that set her on the path to promotion.

In my experience as a pastor, the most difficult aspects of life are often conflicts in relationships. On some level, everyone is carrying deep scars from how they were mistreated or deeply offended. Countless people have left churches, quit jobs, and separated from family because they were mad at leaders, upset with friends, or felt betrayed by those they trusted. They only way to survive this turbulent complexity of interpersonal connections is through people skills. Without them, any promotion to the next level will be short-lived, for that next level will certainly bring its own matrix of complex relationships, even more nuanced than those you currently face. With higher levels come not only higher devils, but bigger egos, greater entitlement, and more experience with betrayal.

There are five basic conflicts that wound people in relationships. Serving as a pastor has given me the unfortunate opportunity of witnessing these dynamics all too often. I believe, however, that if God’s people are committed to developing biblical people skills, such as loving one another above ourselves, we can overcome each of these following challenges.

Conflict #1: When you’re personally offended.

Conflict #2: When you have offended someone.

Conflict #3: When you take up someone else’s offense.

Conflict #4: When encountering a divisive spirit.

Conflict #5: When in disagreement with leaders.

For more information on “The Five Conflicts that Wound Relationships,” check out my latest book, UPWARD: Taking Your Life to the Next Level now available on Amazon.

THE WISDOM OF ABIGAIL: A MODEL FOR GOOD PEOPLE SKILLS People Skill #5: The Presence of Empathy

5/1/2017

Theodore Roosevelt said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Empathy is the capacity to care. It’s the ability to feel, to genuinely relate to, and understand, what another person is going through, and to get involved in a solution. Empathy is different than sympathy, which only involves feeling a person’s pain.

Empathy is doing something about it.
Empathy is having a genuine interest in others. People can sense if you’re sincerely concerned about them or if you’re merely patronizing them. If you’re easily distracted while they speak, or interrupt them before they are finished, if you dismiss their opinions or try to force your views upon them, it sends the message that you really don’t care to hear their perspective, nor do you have an interest in understanding them. True empathy is asking thoughtful questions and “listening to understand” the response. It’s being focused and remaining undistracted during conversations. It’s caring enough to remember important facts, such as family issues, sicknesses, special events, and serious needs—and doing something about them.

Empathy is showing support to those in need. Everyone around you needs support. Ever since Adam and Eve sinned in the garden and became ashamed, every person who ever lived has carried a sense of shame about themselves and tries to cover-up what they really feel on the inside. Every day, people next to you are struggling with feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. They wonder if they really matter or if their presence truly makes a difference. Inferiority, inadequacy, even self-loathing plagues the human condition.

Most people don’t need therapy, they just need a little encouragement. In fact, the best kind of support we can give are simple words of acknowledgment, hope, and appreciation. If you can be an encourager, you can have great people skills. Be generous with encouragement—it’s like verbal sunshine. It has the power to validate and impart worth and significance. Encouragement reassures someone that the work they are doing is meaningful and makes a difference. Try it today. Tell someone how much you appreciate them, how important they are, what you appreciate about them. Be genuine and sincere and see how strong your people skills truly are.

For more information on great people skills, check out my latest book, UPWARD: Taking Your Life to the Next Level now available on Amazon.

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