THE WISDOM OF ABIGAIL: A MODEL FOR GOOD PEOPLE SKILLS People Skill #7: The Power to Persuade

​Have you ever needed to persuade someone to do something? Whether it’s getting a colleague to join your team or convincing a toddler to pick up his toys, persuasion is something we all use every day. The difference in our effectiveness goes back to people skills. Some people can persuade rather effortlessly without anyone hardly noticing. Others, however, are persuasion weaklings and ultimately must fall back on the power of the position to force someone to do what they want.

An old fable tells the tale of how the wind and the sun decided they had a competition. They wanted to determine, once and for all, who was stronger. For the contest, they agreed that the winner would be the one who could persuade a man to take off his coat. The wind blew and blew, but the man only held on more tightly to his coat. Then the sun brightened its glare and shone gently down upon him. Within minutes, the man—gladly and with great enthusiasm—took off his coat.

The moral of the story is clear: You cannot force someone to do something they don’t want to do. In fact, the more you force, the more they hold onto their coat. Instead, the power of persuasion influences them to “want to do” what you want them to do—the way you want them to do it.

This is the essence of persuasion: It’s getting others to buy into an idea, and be motivated internally to do it. Remember the sun. Persuasion is exerting such healthy, positive influence that individuals are intrinsically motivated toward a certain course of action.

Abigail was powerfully persuasive. She made a suggestion and then influenced David—who was enraged by a sense of vengeance—to relent from his path. David was being driven by a passion. He and his men were armed and dangerous. But one woman, through the power of persuasion, was able to stop an entire army and keep the peace.

If Abigail can do it, so can you, but it requires good people skills.
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For more information on great people skills, check out my latest book, UPWARD: Taking Your Life to the Next Level now available on Amazon.

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