This is an excerpt from chapter eight of "How The Mighty Have Fallen."  Follow this link to order your copy.

And the king said, "You shall surely die, Ahimelech, you and all your father's house!" Then the king said to the guards who stood about him, "Turn and kill the priests of the LORD, because their hand also is with David, and because they knew when he fled and did not tell it to me." 1 Samuel  22:13-19

Conflict is a fact of leadership. It is inevitable. And never is a leader’s ability to lead more on trial than when confronted with conflict. It reveals a leader’s steel. Either it will demonstrate his credibility or expose his inability. Most people are impressed by the size of a leader’s organization; but in truth, it is conflict that brings out the best or the worst, and reveals a leader’s capacity to lead.

In essence, Saul was an abysmal failure at managing conflict. In fact, his leadership style and lust for power was the catalyst for conflict. Ironically, that which drove him to bolster his role as king ultimately led to his downfall and the eventual defeat of his regime. Such will be the outcome of any leader who fails to manage conflict and restore unity. Jesus said it like this: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand”  (Matthew 12:25).

“I hate confrontation,” is the phrase we often hear from leaders but, unfortunately, conflict and confrontation cannot be avoided. If you are going to lead, you will encounter conflict. In fact, if you are not encountering conflict, you are probably not leading; more likely, you are just maintaining status quo. The question, therefore, for leaders, is not “how will you handle conflict ‘if’ it comes?” The question is “how will you handle conflict ‘when’ it comes?”
 
MANAGING CONFLICT REQUIRES A HEALTHY LEADER
 
If conflict can be resolved, it requires a healthy, sensitive, selfless leader: one who can set aside his own fears, insecurities and pride, and focus first on the needs and concerns of the people and the organization. This was the issue driving Israel’s dilemma. That conflict was driven by one thing: an arrogant, headstrong, insensitive leader. Saul only cared about his perspective, his concerns, his needs, and his position. And it was this reckless abuse of authority that plummeted the nation into years of turmoil and decline.

Such is the case in many situations today. Often, it is an inept, insecure leader who cares only about “being right” and “looking good” that is fuelling conflict in an organization. Even conflicts not initiated by a leader can be exacerbated by him because of his own ego issues and fears of  “losing face.”

 TOXIC LEADERS CREATE CONFLICT
 
Every organization has within its ranks people who are volatile, contentious, and insubordinate. Every church contains people with attitudes and inclinations that have the potential to erupt into divisive, destructive forces. It is the disposition of the pastor that ultimately decides whether or not those rebellious spirits will rise to find a voice. His ability (or lack of ability) to relate to people, communicate effectively, and lead proactively determines if the culture of the church will promote dissention or encourage unity. 
 
Plainly stated, leaders must set the tone for unity in the church by his or her own example. Sadly, some leaders have the kind of disposition and personality that seems to generate conflict and draw the worst out of people. They are contentious spirits or “toxic leaders.” Proverbs 26:21 says, “As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.” In 1 Timothy 6:4, Paul warns of those who are…  “Obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling (and) evil suspicions.” And, Proverbs 6:19 talks of he who “…sows discord among brethren.” There are some people who seem to be magnets for conflict. Like an influenza patient spreading sickness wherever he goes, these people spread their disease as well. Wherever they go, there is an outbreak of conflict.

So what does a “Toxic Leader” look like? How can you tell if you are a leader with a contentious spirit? 

First, a “Toxic Leader’s” opinions are offensively absolute. He uses tones and makes statements that seem to suggest his way is the only way and anyone who disagrees is intellectually inferior. And if his idea is not accepted, he withholds his support from any other initiative and may even attempt to undermine it. On the contrary, healthy pastors who promote unity are willing to consider other opinions. They can receive criticism without becoming defensive and even support programs or initiatives that they may not be personally enthusiastic about but will participate in for the sake of supporting the people involved.

Second, a “Toxic Leader” sees only his own perspective. Because his opinions are absolute—or “from God,” there is no reason to try and understand any other person’s perspective. They wrongly think: “These usurpers just need to submit.” When others try to explain another perspective, they interrupt and talk over them; they don’t even listen because they’re only concerned about what they’re going to say next. Healthy leaders however are skillful listeners. Romans 12:10 says “in honor (they) give preference to one another.” They know that to build unity people must feel respected and valued; these leaders convey a sense of appreciation for the unique insights and perspectives that everyone brings to the table.

Third, the “Toxic Leader” uses a tone that is abrasive. His statements are often marked by harsh, inflammatory words and condemning tones. It is not what he says, but how he says it. Statements are made that are provocative—even offensive. If they disagree with someone (which is typical)  their body language shouts rejection. They recoil and shake their head “disapprovingly.” They roll their eyes, and cross their arms. Everything about them says, “No way!” Of course, it is not wrong to disagree, but skillful leaders—uniting leaders—are able to disagree without being disagreeable or communicating rejection. Unifying leaders value inclusion. They convey a sense of welcome and respect to everyone even if their ideas are dissimilar.

Fourth, the “Toxic Leader” would rather be "right" than save a relationship. To this leader, winning an argument is more important than winning a soul (see Proverbs 11:30). Because he values his authority more than people and success as his greatest goal, those who disagree are seen as obstacles to overcome, rather  than valued souls to “win over.” But the wise leader knows how to “win souls.” He knows when compromise is necessary; he understands that losing an argument can sometimes be a strategic step in winning a brother and, thereby, ultimately winning the war.

Fifth, “Toxic Leaders” are quick to criticize, correct and rebuke, but slow to encourage. In fact, rarely does a “Toxic Leader” offer any hint of encouragement. They see people as things to use to accomplish a goal. They are out of touch with what people feel and need. They care only that people do what they are told to do, the way they are told to do it; and if you do it wrong, beware the wrath of the contentious spirit. But good leaders are full of encouragement for those around  them. In fact, when they offer correction, they are able to do so in a way that affirms people and inspires them to “want” to do better. They are not patronizing; they genuinely care about what people feel and need and believe their role as a leader is to help meet those needs.

Leaders who are humble and compassionate, leaders who convey a sense of worth and value to their followers, leaders who build a culture of inclusion where everyone matters and disagreement is met with respect are building a “Conflict Resistant Culture.” Theirs will be an environment where mutual respect, acceptance, and seeking to understand one another will preclude the possibility of hostile disagreement. Just as a block of ice cannot remain long in a tropical environment, the frigid rigidity of conflict will melt under the warm spirit of compassion and genuine love.
 
A FINAL WORD

Conflict is a fact of leadership, but division does not have to be. It is the character and disposition of the leader that ultimately decides how conflict will spread or be resolved. Unfortunately, Saul was of such little character that he not only failed to resolve conflict, he perpetuated it.  Effective leadership is by nature to manage and resolve conflict. Let us seek to  rise above our own egos and need to be right and put the greater good of the  organization first. Become a peacemaker and see how God will  bless.

This is an excerpt from chapter six of "How The Mighty Have Fallen."  Follow this link to order your copy.

So the women sang as they danced, and said: "Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands. Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, " Now what more can he have but the kingdom?" 1 Samuel 18:7-11
 
No matter who you are or how great your success, there will always come another who seems to be better, smarter, and more talented. But what do you do when that person is one of your own workers? And what do you do when the people in your church or organization praise and admire him or her more than they do you?

Young David had accomplished an incredible feat. He boldly confronted Goliath and rid Israel of a terrible menace. Through this, he demonstrated his loyalty to God and country as well as his own greatness as a leader. It’s not that he made Saul look bad. He simply looked “better” than Saul. He did what Saul could not—or would not do—and all Israel knew it. “Saul has slain his thousands, but David his ten thousands,” the women sang as they praised David in a celebration of dance. It would seem, at least it did to Saul, that the people believed David was a better man than him. 

So what is a leader to do? How should one react when a subordinate receives more praise and applause then the one in charge? If you are like Saul, the choice is clear. You simply pick up a spear and throw it at him. You ruin that “usurper” before he or she steals your kingdom from you.

 Absurd? Outrageous? Indeed, it sounds extreme but this is exactly what many leaders in the Kingdom of God are doing to the aspiring and talented workers under them. Subordinates who take initiative and succeed, whose special gifts and abilities are praised by fellow workers and church members, are often met by the suspicion and resentment of the leaders they serve. Their fear is that these young “Davids” will not only steal their popularity, but they could steal the “kingdom” that the authority believes is his by right.
 
THE MANDATE OF LEADERSHIP

A leader throwing spears is an offense to kingdom leadership. Imagine Peter being so envious of Paul’s success that he forbids him from planting a church. Or picture Paul being so threatened by Timothy’s popularity that he spreads rumors about him. Or imagine John the Baptist labeling Jesus a fraud because he is afraid of losing his followers. This is not leadership, it is self-preservation. It is not advancing the church for the glory of God; it is expanding an empire for the glory of self.

In the world, leaders aspire to greatness by achieving positions of power and authority. They measure success by the amount of people under their control and the largeness of their popularity. Unfortunately, many “Christian” leaders have come to define greatness in similar terms. To them it is building big churches, commanding huge crowds, and achieving fame. Their attitude is also the same as the world’s regarding people—especially subordinates. They are seen as objects to manipulate and control for the leader’s own benefit. In fact, followers who show promise or have some better quality than the leader are perceived as threats to be suppressed and are denied opportunity for promotion.

This was a great failure of King Saul just as it is for many church leaders. The mandate of kingdom leadership is to raise others up and release them rather than hold them down and repress them. Ephesians 4:11-12 says apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers are to equip the saints for the work of Christ’s ministry, not suppress them for the sake of one’s own popularity. Clearly, scripture requires spiritual authorities to identify and prepare potential leaders for future ministry office. Failure to do this is a  serious betrayal of leadership. In fact, it is a betrayal of the very mandate given to leaders through the Word of God.

THOSE WHO LEAD MUST HAVE A VISION GREATER THAN THEMSELVES

Moses is one of the Bible’s greatest leaders whose achievements are still impacting the world today. His success remains, not only because he led Israel to the Promised Land, but because he was a leader who raised up other leaders. In Exodus 18:25-26, Moses “Chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people: rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. So they judged the people at all times.” Furthermore, in Numbers 11, Moses rejoiced to learn that seventy of his subordinates had received the same anointing he had and prophesied among the people. When others expected him to be threatened and put a stop to it, Moses declared, “Are you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the LORD’S people were prophets and that the LORD would put His Spirit upon them!” Why did Moses have such a passion for raising, training, and releasing leaders? Because he had a vision greater than himself.

On the contrary, leaders who are threatened by their apprentices have a weak and limited vision. By suppressing or attacking subordinates they reveal how small-minded and inferior their caliber of leadership truly is. They care only for their specific interests in the here and now and no vision for advancing the Kingdom of God by advancing those He calls. 
 
THOSE WHO LEAD MUST HAVE A HEART TO MENTOR FOLLOWERS

In 2 Timothy 2:2, Paul told Timothy, “…the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” The biblical model of leadership is concerned, not only with influencing the masses, but also on mentoring the few. 

Almost every great leader in God’s Kingdom was first entrusted to a mentor before released into ministry. Paul had Barnabas and Timothy had Paul. And Timothy, in turn, was instructed to raise up elders in his church. Kingdom leaders must understand the sacred trust they have in recognizing, training, and elevating the aspiring leaders under them. God’s plan for preparing, conditioning, and training future pastors, teachers, and missionaries begins with an established leader who is willing to pour himself or herself into up and coming protégés. Those who fail to do so could be preventing the rise of another David or depriving the world of the next great Joshua.

THOSE WHO LEAD MUST BE WILLING TO LET GO OF STATUS

John the Baptist said, “He must increase and I must decrease” (John 3:30). The crowds were curious that people were being drawn to Jesus and leaving John behind. John was losing his status and popularity. But to his credit, he did not feel threatened. John realized his purpose was not to establish himself but to prepare the way for another. His purpose was to recognize, raise up, and release the next leader who would bring the next great anointing.

In a very similar way, all leaders carry the mantle of John the Baptist. We all exist to prepare the way for another; to seek and search for the next one to lead, to raise him up, and release him into leadership. Even more, we should realize that part of that preparation is to decrease our own status or importance in order to increase the status and importance of the one we are raising up.

Leaders must be willing to let go of control and give it to others. We must allow them to have authority and make decisions and enjoy the success and praise of those decisions. Kingdom leaders are not to grow in popularity and prestige like kings and heads of state, pulling more power and control to themselves. Instead, they should delegate and diminish. People should become less dependent on us and more dependent on those we are raising up. We should be decentralizing our power, decreasing our influence, and shifting it to others who will grow and learn from it and take it further.

Raising great leaders doesn’t just happen. It happens because one is an intentional mentor. Our role as leaders is not just to promote a vision for an organization and manage its operations efficiently. Our role is also to raise up other potential leaders for that organization so its survival will surpass our own influence. The greatest compliment to your leadership is the legacy of leaders that you have raised up to follow you. Do not limit the scope of your ministry by focusing only on the organization that is here and now. Have a long-term vision that transcends the present by raising up leaders whose influence will extend into the future. Sow into your church, ministry, or organization’s tomorrow by raising up leaders today.