 James Stockdale was a Navy Pilot shot down over enemy territory during the Vietnam War. Imprisoned by the Vietcong for nearly eight years, he and his fellow prisoners were tortured on a regular basis and denied medical care and adequate food and water. After his release in 1973, he was awarded 26 personal combat decorations for his extraordinary bravery.
In an interview with Jim Collins, Stockdale was asked about his heroic survival. During the exchange, the conversation turned toward the many POWs who never survived their imprisonment. He was asked, “Who didn't make it out of Vietnam?” Stockdale replied, “Oh, that's easy, the optimists. The ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. They died of a broken heart.” Stockdale then added, “This is an important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”4 Mental toughness is not a shallow optimism that enables short-lived endurance by promising everything will be okay. It’s not the watered down pabulum that we often hear in modern-day, feel good sermons describing a make-believe-god who solves all your problems and heals all your pain. Be wary of those who tell you to “just believe and God will give you what you need.” That’s not faith. Faith is not holding onto a hope that you will eventually get what you want. Faith is not what happens when the bills are paid and all the sicknesses are healed. Thank God when that happens, but that’s not faith. True faith is mental toughness. True faith is perseverance. It’s a toughness that refuses to quit. True faith is not getting God to give you what you want, it’s trusting God and remaining steadfast in your devotion to Him when you don’t get what you want. It’s persevering in your conviction that God is good and will cause all the pain, all the loss, all the hardship that you’re facing to somehow work together for the good and you will prevail in the end as a better, more empowered, more effective human being. This is why the Apostle Paul wrote “…we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4). Hope is the expectation of good. But hope is more than an intellectual notion. True hope comes from character—character forged through perseverance in tribulation. It’s the ability to push through the pain and maintain an attitude that what you’re facing is making you stronger, taking you deeper, and that you’re going to come back from this event, not weaker, but stronger, better, wiser, more capable, and positioned for the next level—even though you may not get the thing you want. Just like Stockdale and his fellow POWs, we will all find ourselves in seasons of despair, even agony. Life will throw disappointments at us. Crushing events will come for which there are no explanations or justification. It may be injury, disease, loss or death, but what separates those who become paralyzed from those who go to the next level is how they face the adversity. The key is not having some shallow hope that everything will be okay. The key is a biblical hope that says it may not be okay, but I know God is in control and has a greater purpose that will take me—or those around me—higher. This is exactly what we see in Paul’s example of perseverance. He had been imprisoned numerous times, scourged numerous times, three timees beaten with rods, stoned, left for dead, and three times ship-wrecked. He goes on to state: “…in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren, in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness” (2 Corinthians 11:26-27). And if that is not enough, God gave him a “thorn in the flesh…a messenger of Satan” to torment him and keep him humble (2 Corinthians 12:7). Without question, these conditions would have ruined the best of us, but Paul in a profound demonstration of mental toughness and hopeful perseverance declared, “…we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18). Paul’s hope came from the conviction that there was purpose in his pain. He knew that his tribulation was producing something deep within his character. He knew more perils would come, he knew the messenger of Satan would greet him again in the morning—his hope was not that the hardship would cease. His hope was that every time he suffered, it would make him stronger, better, deeper and more useful to God. And that hope gave him the ability to persevere—to be tough, mentally. For more practical advice on “Mental Toughness,” check out my newest book, Upward: Taking Your Life to the Next Level.  Ernest Hemingway wrote, “The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” It’s what happens in suffering that equips us to survive the pressures that come at the next level.
Promotion does not come through the laying on of hands. It isn’t found in a prophet’s prophecy or an apostle’s special anointing oil. Such claims are not only heretical, they undermine the transformative power of grace in our lives. True promotion, the kind designed by God, requires endurance. It does the deep work of sanctification, grinding down our ego, purging our pride, and making us into vessels of honor useful for the Master. It’s a process marked by pain but also with purpose. God is working to prepare us for promotion. For if we go to the next level before our character has been prepared, the next level could destroy us. Consider the prodigal son. He is a classic example of one who received too much blessing before being made ready. In his impatience, he said, “Father let me have my inheritance,” and then received it. The next level and all that came with it—the money, the popularity, the success, the prosperity—was his, and it ruined him. It’s the reality of life, especially in the kingdom of God: With promotion and enlargement often come greater temptations, harsher attacks and more ferocious enemies. The old adage is true: “With higher levels come higher devils.” Before we can go the next level, God needs to deepen our character to support the pressures of that promotion. By contrast, consider the Apostle Peter. He was next in line to lead the church after Jesus would ascend to heaven. We see this in Acts 2 and 3 after the Holy Spirit is given and Peter stands up to declare with authority the resurrection of Jesus Christ. In fact, in Matthew 16, Jesus identified him as a future leader among his colleagues. But before Peter could go to the “next level,” Jesus had to get him ready. Earlier, in Luke 22, Jesus told Peter, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.” It’s a curious exchange, but gives us keen insight into the process Jesus had in mind when singling Peter out for leadership in the next level. Sifting wheat is not a practice we are used to today. It’s a process of separating the usable part of wheat, the grain, from the scaly, unusable part, the chaff. It’s basically a two-step process. The first part is called “threshing.” It involves spreading the wheat onto a flat hard surface, usually a stone, and beating it with a tool called a flail. The second step is “winnowing.” This involves throwing the beaten, crushed wheat into the air to allow the breeze to pass through it. The lighter chaff would be blown away while the grain would fall back down to the ground. It’s a fascinating exchange between Jesus and Peter on the verge of Peter going to the next level. Jesus basically implied that Satan had a meeting with God and asked, “Can I beat on Peter so viciously that he will be completely broken and crushed and see if he blows away in the wind?” And the shocking reply that came from the Lord was, “Sure, go ahead.” God gave the devil permission to subject Peter to a season of torment, pain, and suffering. Here’s the important part: Jesus told Peter, “I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.” Jesus knew that Peter had a significant role to play in the future of the church. Essentially, Jesus was telling him that the season of sifting is going to be transformative in your life. It’s going to change you, to reduce you and diminish you, but when you return, you will have greater capacity and greater ability to strengthen your brethren. Sadly, many have been placed on the threshing floor, but became impatient and fled. They lacked the mental toughness to abide the threshing and ran from the instruments God was using to prepare them. They quit jobs, quit relationships, quit teams, and even quit church. A study conducted by LifeWay Research Institute revealed an alarming trend among modernized, American Christians: multitudes are abandoning their churches—and their duty to the Body of Christ. Why? Because they experienced some level of disappointment. The study reported that 37 percent of adults quit church due to some distress or offense resulting from the leaders or church members. Closer examination revealed 17 percent who said church members “seemed hypocritical” and “were judgmental,” and another 12 percent said “the church was run by a clique.” It’s an amazing contrast to what most believers in the rest of the world must endure. I’ve visited churches in India where 75 people squeeze into a room that 20 Americans would refuse to fit in. In Cuba, I’ve seen pastors convert their small private homes into Sunday morning worship services, filling every room, every space with people hungry for God’s Word. In Africa, believers gather under the shade of a tree, enduring blazing temperatures and hungry black flies to glorify God corporately. It’s a far cry from westernized Christians who get offended and leave the church because someone failed to greet them or denied them a place in the choir. Certainly, there will be conflicts and disappointments in any group where people are present, especially church. Leaders will disappoint, friends will offend, people will be hypocrites. But these are often the means that God calls forth as agents of our sanctification. It’s by being offended that we learn how to forgive. It’s by encountering the unlovable that we learn how to love. It’s by resolving disagreement that we learn to walk in unity. It’s by submitting to one another that we learn true humility. If you’ve been offended, betrayed, misunderstood or rejected, don’t run away. If you’re serious about going to the next level, this is how it happens. It’s by staying on the threshing floor, receiving the blows, earning our stripes, enduring with patience, and remaining mentally tough. For more practical advice on “Mental Toughness,” check out my newest book, Upward: Taking Your Life to the Next Level.  Don’t allow your life to be defined by your hardship. Instead, let your life be defined by how you overcame your hardship.
Do a cursory search on YouTube or Google for “mental toughness” and you’ll find any number of tattoo-laden weightlifters or slick-haired motivational speakers offering pithy sayings and shallow catch phrases about positive thinking and pushing past your limitations. Mental toughness for most Americans is about shedding a few pounds, getting a promotion, or bench-pressing more this week than you did last month. Yeah, first-world problems—it’s a shallow concept of mental toughness. However, for most people in the world, mental toughness is a harsh—but necessary—reality. According to UNICEF, nearly half the world's population, more than 3 billion people, live on less than $2.50 a day. More than 1.3 billion people live in extreme poverty, less than $1.25 a day. Even worse, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty. I have worked in the slums of Nairobi, the alleyways of New Delhi, among the impoverished villages of West Africa and South America, and even the crime infested streets of the South Bronx. Frankly, our Americanized versions of mental toughness wouldn’t survive one week in those conditions. For these people, mental toughness isn’t winning a trophy, or trying to fit into a new dress—it’s daily life. It’s getting up every day and walking 5 kilometers to get clean water at the only well serving 5 different villages. It’s deciding which child should get more food based on how sick or well each one is. It’s the 30 million people living in conditions of slavery, agonizing in the abuses of human trafficking, and the innumerable number of women and children suffering through domestic abuse but force themselves to face another day. Sure, YouTube speeches on mental toughness may inspire you to endure a difficult day at work but that’s not mental toughness—not really. The kind of mental toughness we need is the kind that empowers you to endure the extreme disappointments and severe, crushing events that life will, inevitably, throw at you. Mental Toughness Is the Mindset of an Overcomer Nicholas Vujicic was born in 1982 in Melbourne, Australia, without arms or legs. After repeated bouts with depression, attempts at suicide and emotional distress, Nick finally overcame. He learned that God had a purpose for his life—a destiny to impact the world like no other. His story has become a testimony of triumph, inspiring others to carry on regardless of the struggle they face. Today, this dynamic young evangelist has accomplished more than most people achieve in a lifetime. He’s an author, musician, and actor, and his hobbies include fishing, painting and swimming—all accomplished without arms or legs. In 2007, Nick made the long journey from Australia to southern California where he is now the president of the international non-profit ministry, Life Without Limbs, which was established in 2005. That is mental toughness. Sean Stephenson was born with a rare bone disorder, osteogenesis imperfecta. He stands three feet tall and is constrained to a wheelchair. But what is viewed by most people as a debilitating disability, for Sean, has become a doorway to destiny. He has used his story of tragedy to triumph to inspire millions around the world. This 36-inch-tall, wheelchair laden man has earned a Ph.D. and conducted live lectures in over 15 countries and 47 states over the past 16 years. His latest book, Get Off Your “But” has swept the United States and been released in over a half dozen languages. That is mental toughness. It’s the disabled veteran who returns to his family but learns to adapt, acquires new skills, and lives a fulfilling life. It’s the single mom with two kids, determined to make ends meet. It’s the widow, whose husband didn’t leave enough life insurance, is forced back into the job market, but refuses to give up. It’s the divorcee who faces the reality of a spouse who now loves and lives with another, but still has her smile—not because she’s happy, but because she’s strong. It’s the man who loses his job, and looks for another. It’s the young adult who battles addiction and forces himself to his support group, even if he’s the only one there. That is mental toughness. For more practical advice on “Mental Toughness,” check out my newest book, Upward: Taking Your Life to the Next Level. |
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It was concerning King Saul that David said, “How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished.” His was a life that began with great promise and celebration, but ended in miserable failure and humiliation. His life is an example of how the mightiest of leaders fail.
Why do great men and women fall? How do leaders, quick to ascend with such promise of unparalleled success, find themselves awash in disastrous failure and disgrace? More importantly, can the path toward one’s downfall be discerned before it’s too late and be avoided? It is the premise of my newest book, How The Mighty Have Fallen that such a decline can be detected and reversed. The life and leadership career of King Saul, Israel's first king, provides us with a treasury of examples of "what not to do." The below blog post is the first in series of excerpts from the book to examine and avoid Saul's mistakes and find a successful path through leadership. READ AN EXCERPT |
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