ten hard truths about leadership

In a recent conversation with some colleagues in leadership, I asked the question, “What do you find to be the most difficult realities for you as a leader?” The responses were very candid and hard-hitting which reveal that being a leader is not always as “glamorous” as it seems. Based on these conversations, I have listed ten hard truths that those who aspire to leadership should be prepared to encounter.

1. As a leader, you’ll often be required to do things you think are “beneath” you.
Some leaders feel their status or skills sets should preclude them from doing some of the more menial and mundane tasks within the team. This is a dangerous place for leaders. Try to avoid any sense of entitlement that allows you to think you’re more important than others. In fact, leaders who are willing to do those “menial” tasks often earn greater respect and devotion for their subordinates who value humility and work ethic from their leaders.
 
2. As a leader, responsibility always defaults to you.
This means two things. First, it means you will be held responsible for actions that may have nothing to do with your leadership. When a subordinate makes a poor decision or fails to preform, you will take the blame of their poor performance. Arnold H. Glasow wrote, “A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.” Second, it means that regardless of how you delegate, the success or failure of the project will always be up to you. If people don’t do their job, it falls to the leader to step up, take control, and make sure the job gets done. Delegation never removes responsibility from the leader. Always remember, "the buck stops with you."
 
3. As a leader, you don’t have the luxury of having a bad day.
As a leader, attitude is everything. Attitudes are contagious and bad attitudes are more contagious than good ones. It’s impossible to catch “healthiness” from someone, but it’s easy to catch his or her sickness. Leaders, more than anyone, infect others with their moods, emotions and perspectives. So, if you lead, don’t come to work moody because your kid is rebellious, or your marriage is unhappy. Leave that stuff outside. This is what leadership is and if you can’t separate your personal issues from your professional performance, you probably shouldn’t lead.
 
4. As a leader, some will think you are under qualified and unworthy to lead.
There will always be those who think you shouldn’t be the leader. You may be their supervisor, but they think they should be supervising you. Or they may have another person they believe is more capable than you. But in truth, they’ll never know the hours you’ve worked, the time you spent developing your skills, and your many prior accomplishments that have distinguished you for this position. Be confident in who you know yourself to be and refuse to allow other’s opinions to diminish your authority. Be the leader. Lead on!
 
5. As a leader, you will sometimes feel alone.
Leaders carry a burden of responsibility that few others can understand. Leaders realize how far reaching the consequences of their actions, decisions, or even failures can be and often feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders. Sleepless nights, anxiety and stress, even physical ailments can be the result. Often, in these moments of vulnerability, it is vital that you be intentional about connecting with significant others who are trustworthy peers to whom you can reach out.
 
6. As a leader, you will face criticism and come under attack.
Unfortunately, leaders know that criticism is more common than encouragement. This is especially true with unhappy, insecure and angry people who never have anything good to say. They feel better about themselves only when they are pointing out flaws in others. As a leader, realize this comes with the territory. You should expect complaints, criticism, and even condemnation, but be careful not internalize this negativity or base your value upon them. Most of the time, it’s just people who resent your success and who are trying to increase their own self-worth by diminishing yours.
 
7. As a leader, you care deeply for the people you lead, but most of them will never know.
Good leaders realize how valuable and indispensable their team members are. Leaders wish they could pay them more, offer better benefits or simply provide conditions that would guarantee their success. This is the tension leaders feel when having limited resources prevents them from meeting the needs and wants of their good people. And most of those good people will never know how truly concerned you are about them. Remember, the empathy you feel is a valuable commodity in leadership. Talk to those you care about, express your awareness of their struggles, and offer to help in any way you can. They may never know how much you care, but they can certainly know that you are not aloof and out of touch with their needs.
 
8. If you are a married leader, you cannot leave your spouse behind.
Remember that your spouse is part of your team. Even though he or she may not show up at your office or in the field, your spouse sill shares in your struggles, successes, frustrations, and failures. So, go ahead and talk through some of these challenges with your husband or wife. Remember, no one will support you, pray for you, and guard your back like your spouse. He or she is the crucial partner God has given you to empower you in your leadership journey.
 
9. As a leader, very often, you will not receive credit for things you taught people, programs you initiated and successes you achieved.
Quite often, someone will comment how a special speaker or presentation made a dramatic impact on his or her life and transformed their entire outlook, only to leave you thinking, “I’ve been telling you the same thing for years. How can you say this is the first time you’ve heard it?” Other times, achievements or projects will be successful and the subordinates around us will be affirmed for their part without any acknowledgement of the leader’s initiative or supervision. It’s the nature of leadership. Many times, the lectures we give, the standards we set, often fade into the background without being specifically noticed. That does not mean our influence is insignificant. Quite the reverse, your influence is crucial and shaping the culture dramatically. But like sunshine on a warm day, it's simply taken for granted and not appreciated for its real significance.
 
10. As a leader, the appreciation you fail to give today will become the resentment you’ll confront tomorrow.
This is one truth leaders cannot afford to miss. If you don’t show appreciation to your workers, you will regret it. People who do not feel valued or respected for their work will eventually give way to complaining, resentment and bitterness. They will become discouraged, demoralized and infect others with their offense. Take the time to appreciate and thank those who serve faithfully. Your encouragement will be to them like verbal sunshine. It energizes, comforts and inspires those who receive it, especially when it comes from their leader.
 
Bonus: If you are a leader, there is no greater privilege than to serve the Lord and His people knowing that Christ is glorified, people are edified, and you have faithfully fulfilled your calling. Sure, leadership has some hard truths. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. To lead is a high calling, a great responsibility. And there is no greater joy than to know your initiative and influence has made an impact in the Kingdom of God, the lives of His people, and culture we are called to reach! If you're a leader, LEAD ON