MENTAL TOUGHNESS IS GRIT

Mentally tough people see adversity differently than most people. It’s “paying your dues,” or “earning your stripes” and anybody “worth their salt” has done it. They don’t whine. They don’t complain. They accept the hardship and move through it. Athletic coaches say, “Rub some dirt on it.” Army troops say, “Embrace the suck.” Translation: “So the situation is bad. Deal with it.”

This is grit. It’s the ability to persist toward one’s goal despite resistance, adversity, negativity, and even failure. It’s a stubbornness of mind. A callous, determined refusal to quit. Grit doesn’t give up.

Sadly, grit is out of fashion. It seems too insensitive toward those who underachieve or even fail. Ours is a culture where everyone is a winner and gets a trophy just for participating. It doesn’t matter if you work hard, try and try again, or give up and throw yourself a pity party. “You’re special just because you’re you!” is what we hear from an overly-sensitive, I’m-okay-you’re-okay, politically-correct, stylishly-mediocre American culture. And that’s fine if “okay” is enough for you. But if you want to go to the next level, just “okay” will never do. If you want to go the next level, you’re going to need some grit.

Everyone fails—everyone. Failure is not the issue; the issue is what you do with your failure. Whether it’s a bankruptcy, divorce, infidelity, unemployment, or loss of an Olympic marathon; how you respond to your failure is what defines you for years to come. In fact, failure is not the opposite of success. The opposite of success is “quit.” Study any story of success and you will find failure at the roots. What truly matters is not how one falls, but how one gets back up.

Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and one of the world’s wealthiest entrepreneurs, began his career in failure. His first company called Traf-O-Data, which developed processes for analyzing data, was a massive disaster. But that failure served to educate and empower Gates in creating his first Microsoft product, and forged a new path to success.

Oprah Winfrey was born in extreme poverty to a single mother and suffered the horrors of sexual abuse. Struggling to succeed in television, she was fired from one job being told she was “unfit for TV.” Undaunted by such painful criticism, she persevered. Eventually, “The Oprah Winfrey Show” rose to be one of the most successful daytime talk shows in history. The pain and failures of her early life gave her grit and propelled her to her next level. Not only did she rise to the top of an industry dominated by white men, she became the first African-American female billionaire in history.

George Steinbrenner, prior to owning the New York Yankees, owned a small basketball team called the Cleveland Pipers. After two years under his supervision, the entire franchise went bankrupt. Even after taking over the Yankees, Steinbrenner faced numerous management blunders and successive failures. But failure gave him experience in “what not to do.” Eventually, he not only led the team to six World Series appearances, but he made them one of the most profitable franchises in Major League Baseball.

Walt Disney was once fired from a newspaper being told he lacked creativity and imagination. Following this he founded Laugh-O-Gram Films which was a dismal failure. Broke and humiliated, but smarter from his experience, Disney went to Hollywood to pursue his vision. Despite criticism and successive rejection, his first full-length animated film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, skyrocketed to success and launched an empire.

Steve Jobs is known for the Apple brand and his incredible success. What is less known is his comeback from devastating failures. Even after the success of Apple, Jobs was fired by his board of directors. Undaunted by such rejection, he launched a new brand called NeXT. Ironically it was acquired by Apple which enabled Jobs to leverage himself back into leadership. He then revitalized Apple into one of the most innovating and successful companies of the 21st century.

In no way is this meant to present failure as some kind of a twisted blessing that presents you with new and wonderful opportunities to learn and grow. That’s like saying being hit by a truck presents you with a long-needed bed rest. The truth is, failure hurts. Failure sucks. I hate failure. Failure doesn’t make you stronger—failure can devastate and destroy you.

What makes you stronger is the will to get up again and keep going. The grit to persist, to fight back and try again and remain convinced that you can overcome, that you can rise, that you can succeed. It’s the will to redeploy, to find a way, to fight harder, pray longer, and dig deeper. It’s mental toughness—unyielding persistence.

For more practical advice on “Mental Toughness,” check out my newest book, Upward: Taking Your Life to the Next Level.

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