GREAT PEOPLE SKILLS MAKE YOU INFLUENTIAL

Bill Hybels, Lead Pastor of Willow Creek Community Church,  writes: “Never apologize for looking for maximum competence in your new teammates’ gifts and talents and capabilities that will take your ministry to the next level of effectiveness. But before you agree to hire them, be sure to run them through the chemistry screen.” The “chemistry screen” refers to how well people “fit” into the culture of your team. To Hybels, having character and competence wasn’t enough—if they lacked good “chemistry” and couldn’t “gel” with the other team members, they should not be hired. By contrast, leaders should always be looking for people who are empathetic, adaptable, and relate well to others. Their sensitivity to morale, unity, and the emotional needs of colleagues enhance the culture of the team and make them invaluable.

Great people skills make you an influence. The point of developing soft skills is not just to get people to like you, it’s to become a person with influence and persuasion. Persuasion is the ability to win someone over to a certain course of action. It’s the ability to convince people to change their course of behavior and accept your way of thinking and acting. Persuasiveness is a skill that everyone needs to have. Whether you’re an entrepreneur with a startup concept or a young pastor planting a church, it’s the ability to inspire others to join your vision in a way that is crucial to your success. Every visionary needs enablers and sustainers to succeed. It’s the ability to persuade that motivates and retains such competent partners.

It’s important to understand that persuasion should never come in the form of manipulation. Manipulation tries to control the behavior of others through abusive, deceptive, or underhanded tactics. It usually involves withholding information or intentionally deceiving someone into doing something they would not normally do if they had all the information they needed to make an informed decision—or at least the truth.

Good soft skills should never be about deception or manipulation. In fact, people skills are the exact opposite; they demonstrate love and respect toward others by being open and forthright with information. Colleagues know their own best interests are foremost in your mind and they respond with a paradigm of trust. They feel safe with you and believe that when you suggest or recommend a course of action, your opinion can be relied upon, not to serve yourself, but to serve the team and greater good of everyone involved. As a result, your opinion matters and you become a persuasive influence.

So what are good people skills and how does one improve them? Are people skills something that can be acquired and developed with greater proficiency? Can those who lack soft skills be reformed and transformed into high value commodities in high demand?

Absolutely. Anyone can improve their people skills. But like any area of our lives that we seek to change, it requires hard work and discipline. Like learning to play an instrument, developing a new aptitude, or simply trying to lose weight, there will be old habits that must be broken and new disciplines that must be acquired—it takes determination and self-control. But if you stay focused, continue to be intentional, and even force yourself to feel a little awkward, you can become that high-value performer being propelled to the next level because of excellent people skills.

For more information on the power of people skills, check out my latest book, UPWARD: Taking Your Life to the Next Level now available on Amazon.
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